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Anonymous
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# Posted: 12 Feb 2011 09:21pm
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I don't have a goal or hope of bringing the readers of this site down. But it's a Saturday night, my drug addicted daughter is god knows where and my hopes and dreams (at age 53) are out the window. My savings gone and hopes of a cabin getaway are fading. Trying to hide away a few dolllars each payday for future cabin get away. Hope fades with each passing day.
I ask for words of hope and encouragement....
Is there light at the end of the tunnell?
I pray and imagine how much worse things could be but today am worrying, when are my dreams to override those needs of a 21 yr old child?????
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 12 Feb 2011 09:45pm - Edited by: Gary O
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Quoting: Anonymous when are my dreams to override those needs of a 21 yr old child?????
I'm gonna stick my neck out here, due solely to experience.
You can hold her hand on the way down, or you can let her find the bottom by herself.
I'm not going to discuss what cabi3 and I have been thru, but drugs has been in the equation. There's worse things.
My advice, live your life, and hope she gets through hers. Sounds like she's taken a good part of yours. Your choice if you want her to take what's left.
Sounds cold.
It's not.
It's just as hard.
But it gives you both a chance.
Yeah, pray about it.
Get that place of refuge you need.
Our daughter is 30 now. She has problems, but they're just financial, and in raising her kids.
Gary O'
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Anonymous2
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# Posted: 12 Feb 2011 09:46pm
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Anonymous: Your daughter is 21 and an adult. Sometimes when we try so hard to "help", we become enablers.
One of my children also had an addiction and after trying to help, we sold the house and moved here without child (to our dream cabin). I made sure my adult child had a place to live and helped out for one year. I made it very clear that after that time, my child was totally on their own. My child quickly discovered that child had better get their life on track because no one would be there to catch them when they fell. I always made sure my child knew I loved them but also made it very clear they were responsible for their destiny.
I was terrified I would get a call that child was in jail, dead or missing. I was living hours away and knew I wouldn't be there for child until child got their priorities straight and made something of their life.
Fast forward to today and child is doing great! We have a good relationship. My adult child will always be my little child in my eyes, but sometimes you have to push them out of the nest and just pray they will land without too many scratches. There are no guarantees. The results could have been disastrous; however, I knew that continuing on the path we were on was definitely leading to disaster so I choose what I felt was the lesser evil. It was hard, terrifying, and gut wrenching, but sometimes that's what parents have to do.
Good luck with your future. My thoughts are with you. {{warm hugs}}
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Jerry
Member
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# Posted: 12 Feb 2011 09:50pm
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Anonymous,
Please don't give up hope!!! You are not alone. I, for one, will do whatever I can to help you. Talk? Visit? Join me at my cabin for as long as you want. I will support you to the best of my ability.
I'm sure others here will have further advice, but please don't give up.
Jerry
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 12 Feb 2011 10:03pm
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remember if God brought you to it ,he will bring you through it :) Have faith , believe all things happen for a reason , good always comes out of bad,and God loves you !! This was my facebook status today . All hope is not lost especially if she has a praying mother. I know it is hard watching a loved one spiral out of control while you stand by helpless . I wish I had the words for you to make everything better for you and your daughter. Have you ever checked out Al-anon
URL .Support from other people who are dealing with what you are and the counseling will help I am sure. I will keep you both in my prayers ............Never give up With God all things are possible
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turkeyhunter
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# Posted: 13 Feb 2011 07:23am
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prayers sent to you and your daughter........
sometimes we enable our loved ones..........
it's hard to do, but you have to let them hit the bottom........
and then help them back to the top
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rayyy
Member
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# Posted: 8 Mar 2011 06:31pm
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It is that wonderful age where they know it all and you don't know nothing.But they do get through it.They come around.They go full circle.And the day will come that she will say,,,Gee,mom and dad were so right.My problem child out of 5,there was a time when I said,No Way will we ever see eye to eye,but I was wrong,we now are best friends.We are both so thankful that we got through those years.
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 8 Mar 2011 07:00pm
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I can't tell you what you're responses have made to me. We have never met but I have grown stronger due to you. THANK YOU ALL....
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naturelover66
Member
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# Posted: 8 Mar 2011 08:18pm
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Anonymous----- I read your post thirty minutes ago and I cant stop thinking about what you are going thru.
I am a Mom of a 21 year old and 18 year old...... Both Boys. Weve had the drug talk a million times........ they will always do what they want to do no matter what you say or advise.
Offer support and advice........ help her with rehab and counseling.....
Dont give up on her....... Just keep loving her.
Your Cabin will come with time......... have faith.......
The wonderful people of this forum can and will support you thru this.
Please let us know how shes doing.
Thinking of you with love and best wishes.
Naturelover66
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neb
Member
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# Posted: 8 Mar 2011 08:36pm
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I feel your your pain and will pray for both of you. I have not had that problem but it would be very hard for sure. Like some have said never stop loving and be there for her that may be all you can do.
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