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moregon
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 03:19pm
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"I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I've become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that's why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience," José Micard Teixeira.
I love this quote so I thought I would share....
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Smawgunner
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 03:29pm
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The older I get the more I can relate. We all feel that way at times but unfortunately we can't escape it all. You have to have the tools to deal with...the "tools"! Otherwise, you'll end up alone and unhappy.
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creeky
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 04:05pm
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lol. moregon when I turned 55 I made the same declaration.
and I have to confess. I see a lot less of certain family members and some "friends" not at all; but I am also a lot happier. life has lots of room for joy. joy doesn't notice how many people are around.
now when I roll out of bed giggling, even if it's too myself. who would gainsay my choice?
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bldginsp
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 04:33pm
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Though Buddhists seek to have compassion for all, that does not mean they have any tolerance for attitudes and behaviors in others that spring from a lack of compassion. 'Tough love' can mean accepting the individual while rejecting their actions. A person's actions are not their identity, yet your actions betray the sense of identity you practice. Passing judgment on another person's identity for their actions fails to have compassion for the individual, yet the individual chose the actions out a sense of the identity they choose to have. This is my greatest challenge with Buddhism- to have compassion for individuals whose destructive actions are deliberately chosen in disregard for having compassion for others. Though I have no patience for the actions and behavior and try to confront it where appropriate, how long can I practice compassion for a perpetrator who has made it clear that he is unwilling to change?
Thanks for the thoughtful quote Moregon
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moregon
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 04:33pm
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Smawgunner, why do I have to learn to deal with the "tools"? Quite frankly I would rather be alone AND HAPPY then have to deal with "tools".
What I'm saying is that at this stage in my life, actually its not juts a stage, I prefer to deal with like minded people. The moment I run into a "tool" then I would prefer to walk away and be alone.
As an introvert or "Lone Wolf" I have always been alone and am quite happy about that!
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Salty Craig
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 05:24pm
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The world is in need of good people. If we are "good", we must share. If we are "good", we must help. If we are "good", we must comfort.
My instinct is to retreat to my corner and close the blinds. At times that must be done. But... if that is what all "good" people would do all the time, the world would be a helpless mess.
People (thankfully not all) are helpless, wretched morons. If you have decency and compassion, try to help a struggling neighbor. He may learn a skill or talent that will help him along. He may even learn a happy way to live that he can pass on to the guy down the road.
Many people drive me nuts but as long as I have a pulse, I will try to lend a helpful hand. The world is in need.
Craig
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Salty Craig
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 05:26pm
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Oh, and conservatives are called haters.....
Salty Craig
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naturelover66
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# Posted: 26 Jul 2015 09:44pm
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Craig is right... We all deal with "tools" .. At work.. In your neighborhood...maybe in your family. Just smile and wave.. Show them how to be a better person
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creeky
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# Posted: 27 Jul 2015 09:02am
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one thing about reducing the "tools" interaction. it gives you time to do more interesting stuff. meet more interesting people. contribute more to the community.
and really, most people are decent good folk.
but when I lightened my "tools" bucket I had time to volunteer more. i met many interesting people. made a few new friends. and perhaps added some benefit to my community.
and when you're not dealing with the negativity. boy you do become happier.
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moregon
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# Posted: 27 Jul 2015 09:12am
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AGREED Creeky!
When I dropped what I call "dead weight", I have more time to pursue things that make me happy. Dispell negativity and put that energy into something positive.
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fickle_serendipity
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# Posted: 27 Jul 2015 04:03pm
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Good thread....I am glad I took the time to read and reflect.
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Julie2Oregon
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# Posted: 27 Jul 2015 05:15pm
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I've seen this quote previously in other places and I quite agree ...
As long as this way doesn't turn ME into an intolerant, insufferable jackass and the type of person I despise (and this quote describes) when I encounter people, especially those weaker than myself and in need. Because it's impossible to live without encountering and interacting with people, even briefly.
Refusing to smile at that grocery store checker just because she/he didn't smile at me is, well, petty. Maybe that person has a sick child in the hospital and couldn't take another day off from work so is there struggling through the day. We don't know what's going on in the lives of those we encounter even briefly but, geez, a kind word or a smile for someone indifferent or even unpleasant can be the tonic or glimmer of hope that person needed. And I will offer it freely.
Please know I'm not being critical of those whose way this is. I'm just explaining why I can't do it. It's not me, even though I'm an introvert, too.
Funny thing -- a friend came to visit me in the hospital this afternoon and I told her I realized in this experience just how introverted I am. I don't mind staying alone in this (probably) 10X15-foot room alone for these weeks one bit! In fact, the frequent comings and goings by nurses, aides, and doctors irritates me.
So I go outside and walk, both for exercise therapy and to get away from people. Lately, though, I've found that I can't. Yesterday, I encountered a woman who was taking a quick break outside from her niece's deathbed. Today, out of the blue, a woman came up to me and started talking about her insurance worries.
Intrusive? Yes. But giving people a few moments of listening and consolation didn't kill me. I just went a bit farther away from the hospital to be alone for a bit afterward.
So, I agree with Salty. Sure, we need to have boundaries for our own sake and well-being but the world needs more kindness, too. Users, usurpers, hateful people aren't born that way, they're made through experiences we may not know about. Simple acts of kindness from people, when put all together, can change the course of lives.
While I look forward to the peace and solitude of my cabin, I want it to fill my soul with goodness and expand me, not the opposite. So, while there are many things that are valuable in this quote, for me, some of it would go against my nature, too.
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cabingal3
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# Posted: 28 Jul 2015 11:30pm
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people do this.people do that.oh how i whined for so long on what others did.
now my view of life is this-life is change.
get on with living.dont tarry about on who does what or who doesnt do what u think they should.
life is change.
dont tarry too long in misery.
change things up.let go and go on.
this is what i have learned.
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Gary O
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# Posted: 29 Jul 2015 09:10am
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I dunno, I'm kinda torn on this subject.
I mean, I have so so much fun with sour, dour folks.
I can spot 'em a mile away.
The ones so rutted in a miserable life most always have certain lines in their faces that are dead giveaways.
In the checkout line, or waiting in the post office queue, just a quip or two, nothing over the top, will oftentimes put a better crease on their mug.
But, yeah, never been one to bemoan any of it all.
Not enough time in this life.
Too much to do
But
If I can put a little joy in a joyless existence, well, my job is done.
Then again, I have come to a bit of understanding of those that dwell on the negative, or have a tendency to want to share in their ills,
or worse yet,
have a propensity or self driven need to 'show you the way' of their interpretation of Zen....
Those folks I've learned to repel by directing them to the nearest churchies I can find, then sit back and see who wins.
Really, moregon, this subject has been a lifelong fascination for me, and I could blather on and on about it all.
I was raised...and taught through many a verbal ordeal, by professionals.
One's with surgically crafted tongues of acidic mockery.
So, I've somewhat mastered the comeback, the oral beat down, the verbal triumph, and after several years of honing this skill, have many trophies from conquests hanging on my mental wall.
Sarcasm ran deep in our family.
Snide mocking acidic remarks directed at the butt of the harsh jokes...me.
I, like an idiot, would laugh along with them.
Yes, laugh with the cruel aliens that loosely called themselves my parents.
Then even my good hearted acceptance of their verbal scorn would become the next target.
Years later I'd become quite good at these derisive remarks myself, and, as they say, what goes around comes around.
They were no match....hardly anyone was in my league....maybe satan....maybe.
My tack was not to ostracize, but to seek out, destroy.
But
today
the reality, my reality, is the simple fact that there is no real win.
I have learned to stay away from that mindset.
People are too precious.
I would much rather gain a friend than make an adversary.
These days
That
Is the real conquest for me.
It's much more difficult, yet so much more rewarding.
In conclusion (to what seems to have become some sorta freakin' thesis) there is no real conclusion, but more of a lifelong study.
And this José Micard Teixeira guy has shared where he was when he wrote this.
I understand that mental place.
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fickle_serendipity
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# Posted: 29 Jul 2015 10:16am - Edited by: fickle_serendipity
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I think this quote refers to those who consistently display certain "sour" behaviors. We all have a bad day or may be going through a very difficult time, and we may be so distracted that we appear to be one of those "sour pusses" ourselves, but I don't believe if you are a warm and kind person a smile or positive word from another wouldn't also bring a softness and smile to your face. I believe most people fall into this category.
However, we all have encountered those that truly do have a way of zapping our positive energies. I have learned that sometimes, in order to protect our own well being, it is better to avoid them. I believe we all deserve the benefit of the doubt, but some prove over and over again that they just don't care to be anything other than a "sour puss". That type just seems to relish in making others miserable. I no longer have time for that.
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suburbancowboy
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# Posted: 29 Jul 2015 12:42pm
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It is interesting that the older you get your perspective changes on things. I think that what this thread comes down to is that people don't like to get hurt. Once you get hurt down to your soul you avoid getting hurt at all cost. I have been there. (ex wife and ex friend) Having crossed 50 I put people out of my life that hurt me. The only exception is my children. I love them unconditionally. I am happier when the hurters are out of my life. Still I try to be friendly to people I come across in life and make their lives a little better. I would rather have one true friend than a hundred fake friends.
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Martian
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# Posted: 29 Jul 2015 09:09pm
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While everyone deserves my kindness, not everyone merits my time. I will always be kind, but I may not linger in their presence. 
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