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97Marlin
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 08:19pm
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When I search many of these posts, it appears that there is much dedication amongst other members who regularly post to this forum and their significant others. So, tell me where did you indeed meet your significant other?
Also, how would you go about meeting someone in this day and age other than the last-resort method of dating sites?
Okay, my story: Have never been married despite being 40. Just can't seem to find anyone who wants to commit solely to me. Usually it lasts for a few months and then someone from their past shows up and they decide they like this person better than me and I get dumped. Happened yet again to me earlier this month. I was told that she didn't want to be in a relationship, and, come to find out, she hooked up with a guy from her distant past.
Being alone...well, it just isn't any fun!
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turkeyhunter
Member
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 08:46pm
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Quoting: 97Marlin Where did you and your significant other meet?
which one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
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hattie
Member
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 09:04pm
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Hubby and I met online 13 years ago. It wasn't a dating site, just a chat site. Everyone seemed to have their own little group of people they chatted with but Hubby wasn't in my group. *S* Anyway, while I was waiting for some of my friends to come online, I spotted hubby posting some old time music that I LOVE to listen to. We started chatting and here we are. *grin*
I lived in Ontario and he lived here in BC so I took a trip out to meet him in person after we had been chatting for about 6 months. It felt like I had known him all my life. A few months later, he came to Ontario to meet my children and family (a scary time *S*)....Everyone loved him and the kids decided we should move to BC instead of stay in Ontario. Both of us had come out of long term marriages (his 27 years and mine 18 years). I get along great with his ex. No one gets along with my ex. *LOL*
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bobrok
Member
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 09:04pm
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Wow, this has the potential to be a real blast!!!
My story (briefly):
I met my future wife while visiting an old girlfriend and staying at her sorority house. She was the only one who wanted to play tennis that day.
The rest, as they say, is history.
We've been together 34 years this July.
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 11:05pm - Edited by: Gary O
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Quoting: turkeyhunter which one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Well, if yer country, it's the one that has your house, your car, your boat, your truck, your guns, and even your dog.
Quoting: bobrok Wow, this has the potential to be a real blast!!!
Yeah, this topic should beget some doozies.
I was in my 'office' the Hello Bar, sippin suds (getting' well), when my 'secretary' (earthquake Ethel) handed me the phone.
It was Barb on the other end, the ex squeeze of my buddy George (2X).
Said she had "someone that wants to meet me".
Since I'd grown weary of watchin' the over fed hairy ogre at the end of the bar try to remain on his stool, I called a cab.
Appearing at Barb's door, a gorgeous babe happened.
She kept looking past me.
Turns out Barb told her I was tall dark and handsome.....
Barb, being sight challenged (after all, she dated 2X for several minutes) had done me quite a favor.
This babe and I stared at each other across the dining table until I sobered up.
Then I got charming...funny thing, she remained gorgeous.
Been chasin' her ever since.
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knottypine
Member
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# Posted: 23 May 2011 11:10pm
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met at the bar. 6 years and going strong
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BadgersHollow
Member
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# Posted: 24 May 2011 01:35am
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Met up in Denali National Park. We were both college kids, working summer jobs and from 2 different worlds. Those northern lights are strong!
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smitty
Member
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# Posted: 24 May 2011 02:33am - Edited by: smitty
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I had just got my license, and took off with my Moms car, without permission to see a friend of mine in a town an hour away. His sister was in the living room. I saw her, and she sparkled..
Next time I saw her.. I asked her to marry me. She said no. But kissed me.. We are celebrating 17 years in June.. She still sparkles.
Only way I can explain it. It's a sparkle.
High school sweethearts, just went to different schools.
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naturelover66
Member
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# Posted: 24 May 2011 09:14am
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We met in High School also........ also different schools and were introduced thru a mutual friend of mine in Algebra.
We immediately clicked and that was 29 years ago...... 28 years ago he rolled over and asked me to marry him....... lol.
Weve been madly in love and happily married for 25 years this month.
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Just
Member
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# Posted: 24 May 2011 09:47pm
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Met in 64 at a ice skating event .
first date we went to a dance at a beach front dance hall .
married in 68 .
we now have a small cottage on that very beach
gess we havent gone far
the road has often been bumpy but always strait!!
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farfromhome
Member
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# Posted: 25 May 2011 10:57am
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Worked at the same company. Asked her out, got drunk and she had her way with me. Stayed married for 11 years and now divorced. Cabin just got sold. Moving on now, looking for someone with a sense of adventure and loves the outdoors.
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cabingal3
Member
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# Posted: 25 May 2011 07:36pm - Edited by: cabingal3
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hmm.remember it was the 60's.I hitchedhiked from Louisiana to Houston ,texas.
The persons i got a ride from took me to this ladies house.Her name was Barb.She told me,"i know someone who is perfect for u!".She called Gary O at the hello bar.She told me he was dark hair,blue eyes.I always had a thing for guys with dark hair and blue eyes.
There he was! Long red hair with blonde streaks...tight jeans and a red beard.and I was looking for a good person and there he was right before me.I have stuck with him ever since then.
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BlaineHill
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# Posted: 25 May 2011 10:45pm
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We met at a wedding where the bride and groom met at a wedding. She has no interest in small cabins and has never been to Blaine Hill, but she is extends me an enormous amount of freedom and I am thankful for that.
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 11:15am - Edited by: Gary O
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Hey, nobody picked up on part 2 of this thread.
97Marlin has asked for some advice.
I'm thinkin' all us married folk that have been married for more than, say, six months (or 'been together forever' folk) need to contribute some insightful advice.
Here's mine.
Meeting;
If you like cabin dwelling, hunting (animals), fishing, mountain climbing, cross country skiing (you get the drift), attend like functions and organizations, rendezvous, etc.
I wouldn't pooh pooh dating sites altogether, but data needs to honest, and a photo of her cabin would be beneficial........
Before venturing out to the next hook up, practice being a bit aloof.
Try this on yer pets first.
I'm no cat lover, but we had this kitty that, while I was watchin' my Yankees show how baseball is supposed to be played, would oftentimes climb up my lazyboy and plop in my lap.
I'd ignore her.
She'd get all snuggly, and eventually end up in my face.
So I'd start stroking her back.
One late summer game, after mindlessly doing this for a couple innings she started to put her ears back, eyes became slits, tail twitched back and forth....then....REEEORRR! FFFFFFTTT!, she flipped around, shredded my arm and face, and leaped off my lap, looking back like, 'how dare you!'
Asked an old cat loving hippie buddy of mine, and he said she knew I was being insincere......(?????), go figure.....
So, here it is. I equate dogs with males, and cats (felines) with females....
. . .
On a more serious note, just be yourself, man.
The yin to your yang is out there, and will come along.
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naturelover66
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 11:58am
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My 40 year old brother in law just met the love of his life....... on a dating site. He was kinda quiet, didnt frequent bars and just needed a little help meeting that special someone.
The thing is...... marriage is work........... dont give up on eachother just because youve had a rough patch...... and you have to be faithful..... without trust its all over in my opinion. Expect your mate to change..... no one stays beautiful forever. And support their dreams.
If you REALLY love and respect this person..... whoever your future mate is, you will be happy.
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bobrok
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 02:52pm
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Quoting: naturelover66 The thing is...... marriage is work........... dont give up on eachother just because youve had a rough patch...... and you have to be faithful..... without trust its all over in my opinion. Expect your mate to change..... no one stays beautiful forever. And support their dreams.
Amen, Amen, I say to that!
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97Marlin
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 07:56pm
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Gary O--thanks for addressing the other part of my post. I thought I'd finally met 'the one' at age 40, and things were going really well! Much to my surprise, I got dumped because she told me there wasn't any chemistry! This came as a real surprise as this did not seem to be the case at all until I got dumped. Come to find out, she met someone else, and just didn't want to tell me this. I am now having serious doubts as to if I shall ever meet anyone. I am getting up there in years and one can only deal with a certain number of failed relationships!
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 08:22pm
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Quoting: 97Marlin I am now having serious doubts as to if I shall ever meet anyone. I am getting up there in years and one can only deal with a certain number of failed relationships!
No way, man.
Just no way.
I have several buds, crass individuals, face would make an onion cry, that found their better half.
Your lady is out there.
Just be glad you didn't hook up with the wrong one.
Church, social functions (other than the bar scene), hot rod meets, any sports, mountain climbing groups....I've got what I consider a very close bud that met his gal in a climbing group.
Thing is, and correct me if I'm wrong, I feel a bit of desperation in your words.
If so, no need. Just enjoy meeting people, and take your sweet time. Don't be so ready to commit. Enjoy the friendship, the parting, the coming back together, the movin' on.
You'll know when she's the one, cause after a few months of lettin' yer hair down, and she's still lookin' back atcha like in a mirror, ya won't be able to run her off with a club.
Understand, I don't mean fawning on you, or (worse) lookin' at your weird nose or scar or something. I mean lookin' in your eyes to gather meaning to your words.
The eyes have it, pard.
40!!??
Sh-t, my gramma got her third hubby at 75............
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97Marlin
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 10:08pm
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Gary,
I wish you lived across town, as I'd invite you out for a beer.
I suppose I have given up and, yes, there is a certain sense of desperation, I suppose. I bought 26 acres last year, and, if I had a young lady friend to share my experiences with on that land, perhaps I would go up there more often, but with no one else to do things with, I really haven't felt like going up there and haven't been up there yet this year.
I don't consider myself a failure--I went to school forever and am gainfully employed, but yet... The last girl I was with said I was very polite and liked my company, as did her parents, and yet she went to that social gathering a few weeks ago and, when approached by an old friend, she didn't have it in her to say 'I'm seeing someone, but I'm flattered'.
This kind of knocks the wind out of your sails...and this sort of scenario has happened to me far too many times. Basically, they say they don't want to be in a relationship, but yet they are quickly in a relationship with someone else...and, I am alone yet again.
By the way, I work an incredible number of hours! Thank God I have a job, as it keeps me occupied. If I didn't have a job to keep me occupied, I really don't know what I'd do.
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naturelover66
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 10:48pm
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97 Marlin----
Gary O is right........ you just havent met that special someone yet who can be completely devoted to you. You dont want some woman who tells you one thing and does another.
Take friends up to the Cabin........ dont let the fact that youre not in a relationship right now keep you from doing what you love.
When a worthy lady sees what a great catch you are........... you will know....... and she will be lucky to have you.
Good luck and keep your chin up !!!!
lisa
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 10:50pm - Edited by: Gary O
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Quoting: 97Marlin If I didn't have a job to keep me occupied, I really don't know what I'd do.
Well, one would say something obvious like, 'too much work and no play' or 'there's a pattern here', but at 40 there will be a pattern.
However, the adage rings true. Lotsa work hours ain't gonna do it.
In youth I worked/played around the clock...doesn't cut it at 40.
Were you working when your also ran was at the gathering?
Again, someone with the same heart beat. You haven't connected yet, and the odds are not in your favor while working and sleeping.
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 26 May 2011 11:49pm - Edited by: Gary O
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Quoting: 97Marlin I wish you lived across town, as I'd invite you out for a beer.
Well, I would, but I'm not quite ready for a relationship.....
AH!
Gotcha!
Take 'er light Pard.
Your lady will find ya.
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CabinBuilder
Admin
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# Posted: 27 May 2011 11:22am - Edited by: CabinBuilder
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Quoting: 97Marlin Basically, they say they don't want to be in a relationship, but yet they are quickly in a relationship with someone else...
I wouldn't be surprised if that "someone else" will be in your shoes shortly, left for yet another "someone else".
Well, some people are just like that - they need often change in their relationships. I guess, Nature (and/or God, take your pick) has made us, humans, this way - for whatever reasons ... But that's another topic.
Quoting: 97Marlin I work an incredible number of hours!
Make sure you have enough time for her as well - partners (at least most of them) need time spent/lived together. (That's why people desire relationships in the first place).
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97Marlin
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# Posted: 27 May 2011 09:13pm
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I am a veterinarian and I can work as much or as little as I need to. When there is someone else in my life, I definitely make time for them, but when there is not, the work is a welcome relief from the boredom and loneliness. Now that I re-read what I wrote, it sounds as if she left me because I didn't find time for her and elected to work instead of to spend time with her. Nothing could have been further from the truth! This breakup really caught me by surprise and I am still mourning her exit even though she dumped me on the 8th. We had a great time the last time I saw her, on the 4th, which makes this especially difficult.
Thank you, everyone, for your help! I may not respond as often as some of the rest of you, but I read many of your posts and I feel like you are almost family. There are so many warm and generous individuals on this forum.
Ian
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naturelover66
Member
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# Posted: 27 May 2011 09:25pm
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Ahhhhhh a DVM....... im a Vet Tech. - small animal for over 23 years.
I understand , especially if you own your own Practice the hard work and dedication required.
We could probably discuss bloats and bite wound abcesses but i wouldnt want to subject the other forum members to such.
Youre right about the good people of this forum...... i feel as if ive known many of them for years....... very interesting and kind individuals for sure.
Any man who has dedicated his lifes work to improve the lives of animals.......... has a good heart and will defiantely find love.
Lisa
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Erins#1Mom
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# Posted: 27 May 2011 09:49pm
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My husband and I met at work when I was a young 19 and he 29. Thought he was an ass; and told him so. Then I got to know him and became friends. Then started dating, split up and got back together. At 25 and 35, we married. Now 28 years later, he's still my best friend and we have more fun than ever. He's my rock. That doesn't mean that things haven't been rough at times; I even had an appt with a divorce lawyer once. That's what happens with job and the opinions of others get in the way.
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nicalisa
Member
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# Posted: 28 May 2011 12:39am
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97 Marlin
Don't quit looking and enjoy every moment of it:) You really do have to kiss a lot of frogs!
I met my first hubby through my mother.....ummmmm love my mom, but I wouldn't recommend it:)
Then post divorce I lived with a roomie and we did the internet dating thing a while.....back to the lots of frogs!~ but a couple of good kisses:)
Then I joined a singles volleyball league where I met a ton of really great girls.....not exactly the plan :) but I made some good friends along the way.
Then one of these good friends told me about this wonderful, smart, totally hot guy she had the hots for. She got to know him and asked what his x was like. He described her as a "driven, motivated, career centred, kind of bit@#y woman, that knew who she was and what she wanted" My friend knew that she was not a match with him, but suspected that I would be....(I am sure that there was a compliment in there somewhere:)
She had a party and made sure we were both there.
So don't give up on any form of meeting someone. Internet, friends, singles groups, they are all fun! Enjoy your life, that is contagious and people will be attracted to the happiness that you are putting out there:)
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 28 May 2011 05:32am
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Look at it like I do.Life is an on going adventure story and you are just finishing a chapter and now your starting a brand new one.Be optomistic,Your new lady is out there,you can rest assured!
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Vince P
Member
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# Posted: 28 May 2011 09:53pm - Edited by: Vince P
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Quoting: 97Marlin I have several buds, crass individuals, face would make an onion cry, that found their better half. Your lady is out there.
Aint that the truth. You wonder how some folks got together when they "look" so far apart. If your charming, you won't stay single for long. That I can tell you for sure.
As for us... we were teenagers working at the local McDonalds and after a couple awkward dates (she brought her friend along), I must have finally said or did the right thing, because we've been inseparable ever since. That was almost 25 years ago... and as the years went by and our friends went from relationship to relationship, I have never felt I missed out on anything by being with the same person from such a young age. When it's right you know, but like so many on here have said, there will always be rough times.
As an aside, do kids still work fast food jobs these days, or do they find it too degrading? :P
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Gary O
Member
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# Posted: 28 May 2011 10:31pm - Edited by: Gary O
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Quoting: Vince P As an aside, do kids still work fast food jobs these days, or do they find it too degrading? :P
Hey Vince
I'm not sure about kids, but MBAs have been known to say 'Do you want fries with this?' and they can sure pack a mean box of Costco goodies.
Ian
A veterinarian??!!
Please disregard my 'too much work' remark.
Seems your vocation would be a great venue for a hook up, and even if not, it's work that has its own reward.
And, yeah, they can take your heart, and the healing ain't quick. But a good country song can wring those emotions out pretty fast.
No hurries
No worries
Gary O'
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